Friday, January 28, 2011

I am an avocado.

If I return as a fruit, I will be an avocado.

A versatile fruit, the avocado provides one of the smoothest and flavorful centers. It’s not sharp or bitter. Rather, it’s beyond mellow. Plus, it’s inclined to warm weather. It’s productive when treated properly. It was worshipped by the Aztecs who considered it a fertility fruit.

Not that I want to be worshipped in any fashion relating to fertility. But I want to be treated well by the people in my life.

We all do.

Unfortunately, I don’t always feel that way, and so I continue to take measures to eliminate negative people from my surroundings. Recently, however, I spent several hours with a well-respected professional with an arm’s length of credentials.

However, he was clearly outspoken in his criticism of my training and my goals. Even though he doesn’t know me, his comments stung for days, and I can still clearly hear his toxic words piercing my hopes. Fortunately, I don’t have to listen to him again, but the pain that I internalized still lingers.

Coupled with that incident, I am dealing with the stresses of overhauling my nutrition plan, which has its flock of skeptics. As a former vegetarian and animals rights zealot for most of my 20s, I found the prospect of becoming a subscriber to the Paleolithic plan rather ironic. Still, I have not felt as healthy and as clean in a long time, and that includes my years as a strict vegetarian.

Despite continuous reading, researching and talking with other Paleos, I feel as though I have to defend my choice to question whether I consume too many cereal grains that contain the toxic protein gluten. No, I don’ t need to eat a bowl of Kashi or fusilli to get my carbohydrates. But people will still insist that I do.

Since my switch, I am cooking with new approaches, embracing kale as my partner. Coconut and grapeseed oils have added new flavors to my fish dishes and vegetables. Organic bison has replaced all other beef. My chickens roam free!

Yet as content that I am with my decisions, I still feel as though I am finding my way to becoming the person that I am meant to be. Right now, with a few injuries not completely healed—physically and emotionally—I am a one-oared rowboat, circling, circling. What I need most is to be with other avocadoes—smooth, mellow, worthy of being treated well.

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