Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Letting go.

I read an excerpt about Elie Wiesel, who told the tale of a rabbi who believed that when you die, your creator will not ask why you didn't become a great saviour, leader, or prophet that answered life's questions. No, the creator will simply ask why you didn't become you, why you didn't use the gifts with which you were born to become the fully realized miracle you had the potential of becoming.

One of the greatest tasks in life for any of us is to change ourselves. But how many of us take the risk to become our destiny, to let go of our fears, to not do mostly what is expected of us from others? It is extremely egotistic to think that we can change another person. But we can influence them through the sharing of our ideas, our discussion of our personal tenets. This dialogue forces us to look deeply into our own beliefs and values. It can help us better understand who we are and possibly change our lives, to become the fully realized miracle that we are all meant to be become. Intellectually. Spiritually. Mentally. Sadly, self-actualization is neglected by the people who need it the most.

Today I recognized that I must learn to let go of that which I cannot change. Something at work simply is not falling into my long-term plans, and it is--at this point--beyond my control. For at least three weeks, this possibility has haunted my thoughts, brought me to tears. Today, however, as I made yet another futile attempt to see this project come to fruition, I just sat back and said: "I have to let this go." Otherwise, it will continue to sap my energy from my other endeavors. Why should my other investments--my relationships, my happiness, my self-satisfaction--suffer? I cannot allow that. Instead, I just need to sigh heavily, shrug my shoulders, head to Starbucks for a tall skinny vanilla latte and fruit plate, sans kiwi. I need to surround myself with moments, small as they may be, that make my soul smile.

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