Sunday, January 29, 2012

New Year's Resolution Part 1

I dislike resolutions, so I simply promised myself that for this year I would try a new food--something that I've never tasted before--each month.

Granted, there are foods that I've tasted but haven't eaten. Liver, for example. I know my mother prepared it when I was a child. And I remember sitting at the glass-topped kitchen table, forcing this wiggly sliver of meat into my mouth. I nearly cried. I couldn't stomach it. I probably tried to feed it to the dogs who sat beneath the table and stared up at us in starry-eyed wonder. So since I've attempted liver, I cannot add it to the list.

So I've been pondering what 12 food items to add. And for the first one, I took the easy way out: cookie dough ice cream. I've never tried, never wanted to try it. The idea of eating cookie dough takes me back to the 70s, the era of liver and onions, when my mother told me it was dangerous to eat the cookie dough.

Thus, why would we eat it in ice cream?

The thought churned my stomach. It gives me gag reflex.

But earlier this month, I caved it.

Oh, I could've tried other flavors that I never tasted: coconut, bing cherry vanilla, Snickers, party cake, cotton candy. But I decided to live on the edge.

I decided to eat two bowls in order to draw a firm and fair conclusion: Cookie dough in ice cream is wholly unnecessary. In fact, it's more than that. It's truly inappropriate.

The chunks of dough do, indeed, taste like dough. And dough--like my mother said--is meant to be baked, not eaten. I liked the ice cream around it, buttery smooth with little chocolate chips. But eating cookie dough -- even if it's not real cookie dough -- is akin to putting a used wet Band-Aid in your mouth. You just don't do it. Ever.

I have a feeling that next month's specimen will be even less satisfying: brussel sprouts. I'm already getting the chills.


Elizabeth said...

My kids would live off of cookie dough ice cream if I let them. Hope you liked those Brussel sprouts. They are good sauteed in butter. You didn't share with us what else is on your list!

Kevin Reaman said...

You are so funny and witty, you really make me happy. I love you Denise.